Heart's desire @by Chris Fok

If it were desire I feel, I would let it go. 

Because it has gotten me nothing
But the heartbreak and the lone walk home.
Its hard to place the right words about desire,
Because it never has room for you to describe it.

It wants you to walk in it
And feel it
And breathe it in,
Even though you can't have it.

Desire needs
A warm blanket and a hot chocolate,
Because it is the odd one out.
It is the presence once felt and is no longer
There. It will call your passions out silently into the air,
In the hopes that the object of your gaze will
Respond to these smoke signals of your heart.

Desire lacks
A heart of its own,
Because you've so readily given it away,
With or without your own permission.
It is morally bankrupt and hard to please.
It claws out your pitiful strengths and asks you to be
Strong in the face of it.

Desire is a home,
Where fantasies come true,
And there will only be
You,
You,
You.
A family of one with you in it,
A life come alive by your presence,
A song sung;
A dance danced into your arms.
Let you hold me,
Desire.
Cherish me,
Desire.
Love me,
My desire.

Desire knows no outcomes but its own.
One strike
And you're down for the rest of it.
It's a gamble played by you,
The poorest player.
Because all you have is loose change
Into words you want to say
But can't in fear of what they might listen in
Those aches and spurn your neediness
And close all lives you might have had with them in one
No.
Desire is unforgiving.

Desire calls to those who have none,
Not in awhile,
Not in a long time,
Not since you finished that tub of Ben & Jerry's.
Not since never
And just a touch could bring you to your knees.

Desire plays
Unfairly.
No longer does want rhyme with reason
As desire collapses into its own gravity.
An ouroboros
Creeping round your neck;
Tinting your eyes to the subtle shades of wonder
As they past you by.

Desire believes itself
The world's best secret keeper.
But every look,
Touch,
Response
Betrays itself to the watchful eyes of the world,
And then it makes it's rounds.
Passing from mouth to ear to mouth to ear
Until the secret of desire is kept from itself.
We all know, shhh...

Lest we take desire for granted,
We would stand sizzling in the sun not knowing
The existence
Of ice-cream.

Desire lives in the in-between
Of love and lust,
Not yet real but ephemeral enough to exist.
It is the gasp of recognition;
Enlarging pupils;
The hesitant touch;
Jump tempo of the heart;
And the quick smile when they catch you
Staring.

It is standing close enough so that you can smell them,
Consume parts you aren't allowed to touch
With your eyes dis-clothe them,
With your mind you own them.

Desire can't be bought,
Yet, it is given with a cost
And you pay in time
Yearning for their presence.

Seeing how rich and cheap thoughts are
In the first place.
If it is desire I feel,
I would give it up
For real love
Instead.